rocky ashestell myself I'm safe and lonely with nobody else to break my heart

It had become increasingly difficult to wait between each dose of serum. The last days before the next one were always a challenge, her powers coming to life again, each time more raggedly than the previous one and she was left there, an impatient mess of a broken nymph shakingly waiting for an injection of peace through her veins. It was like a kettle full of boiling water, ending up overflowing if one forgot to lift the cover in time. She tried to hold it in as much as she could, a pathetic reminder of her past attempts, but in the end, it didn't matter: water always had the last word over her own will. How she hated it. Sometimes, it almost made her regret her choice to take the serum. Her powers had always been that uncontrollable mess of random reactions but it had become even stronger now than before, as if Nature was giving her payback for ignoring and trying to tame Her. Well, payback is a bitch, and so is Nature. Though, it would take more than a few days in this living hell to weaken London's resolve. She'd seen worse, after all.

It was worth a little sacrifice, that's what she kept telling the other lost kids, those who had grown afraid of their own abilities but were too frightened by the perspective of having to go through all of the secondary effects the Riverwood would never fail to mention, ever so loudly. Who the fuck did they think they were? Heroes with scaled wings and shiny white armours, ready to slay every single fear that supernatural beings like her had regarding their own poisonous gifts? What a joke. None of them knew what it was like, to grow terrified of oneself, to hate one's own guts, to be alone, to be different, to be a monster in a human's world. Just because you are proud of your origins doesn't mean you have to force this pride on us. They could not understand. Except Zephyr, who was also regularly taking the serum. Zephyr, the only one who never tried to change the minds of the weakest and most influenceable teenagers, because he knew what they were going through, more than anyone.

Yes, Zephyr Riverwood understood the absolute need London was feeling right now. And not so long ago, so did Serena. Like London, the young dragon had been taught from an early age to keep all of her powers deep inside. She had learnt to conceal and never feel, to hide so that they would not know, to hate who she was and to be afraid of what she could do. It had brought them together when they had met, this deep understanding of each other that went far beyond the mere knowledge of what they had been through. It wasn't just about knowing, it was about feeling. That's why London had started calling her a sister, not because they had grown up together, not because they shared the same blood, not because she had been adopted by Serena's parents but because their pasts seemed to be the twin sides of a mirror. When the dragon had shared her story, it had been like hearing her own. And although London didn't say much about her past, they were things that the blonde simply knew, things that she didn't need to say out loud, things that couldn't be explained but had to be lived.

So yes, a while ago, Serena would have understood. She would have agreed with London too. They would have taken their shots together and they would have drawn stupid symbols around the spot where the needle had stroke them. They would have drunk shots after getting shot, if only for the joke and the need to celebrate their new freedom. Then they would have thrown some rocks into water to make ricochet, happy to see no element nor unwelcomed power would bully them this time. They would have tagged Hail the serum on the Black Rose's wall and they would have helped every single resident to get their dose, even though it pissed the Riverwood. Especially if it pissed the Riverwood. After all, the more chaos the more fun had always been their motto. And they would have had so much fun together. Instead, London went on her own to the pharmacy and then she smoked alone in front of the Bayou, throwing her ashes and her cigarette in a pond, satisfied to see no backlash coming. And it didn't matter - or did it? - if she was the only one smiling, celebrating, drinking shot after shot, taking shot after shot, and telling everyone how much fun she was having since the blessed day of the 16th of August.

It didn't matter, did it, that Serena was on the opposite side now, telling everyone they should accept their gifts rather than rejecting them. How times had changed. London had heard the stories, of course. Teenagers had been reporting getting caught by the newest Riverwood while trying to escape the refuge, in order to get a shot. There were stories of serum dealers, offering doses to those who were underage and had no authorization, stories of pharmacies where one could ask a shot even though the last one had been done a month ago if one went early enough, in order to negotiate. Of course, most of this was bullshit and the young orphans ended up coming back, disappointed but not hopeless. Of course, London knew that one could not simply go ask for a shot and get it, that the serum was the most guarded secret of the government and that those fake dealers only injected placebo. But she was not going to deny those rumours, not when it was clear that it enraged most volunteers and the Riverwood family. Especially Serena.

How times had changed. They were once standing at both side of a mirror, seeing their lives through the other's eyes, plotting jokes against the rest of the world, even Aaren at times, smiling proudly while watching the chaos they had created and the anger on their victims' face. But the mirror was now shattered on the floor, in a million pieces with edges sharp to cut their hearts. And London was the one plotting against Serena now, escaping her vigilance and smiling proudly when she thought about making her mad. Yes, times had changed and so had they. They had taken separate roads and if their pasts were still alike, the dragon's future was now bright. In the mirror of her new life, London could see her own old dreams, the ones that she had almost reached once. She had been so close to getting what Serena had now : a family, before Allie died and their shell shattered to pieces too, powers she started to accept, helped by her mother, a sense of belonging that she had only felt once again after the Shail. With Aaren and Serena.

But happiness was out of reach for London, or so it seemed. Gods know she had tried, she had tried so hard, so could anyone blame her for not wanting to try anymore? Well, apparently Serena thought that she could. There she was, standing in front of the laboratory where London usually got her injection, waiting for her apparently. How flattering. It could have been nice, in another life, to see the rock dragon here. But she knew Serena was not here for that. She seemed pretty angry, her arms crossed and her ton demanding. But London didn't owe her anything, at least from her perspective. Everything had been said and done, almost a year ago, after that pathetic attempt to revive the ashes of the bonfire that used to be their friendship.

They used to share a mirror but this time, London's reaction didn't match Serena's anger. A smile flourished on her lips, sarcastic and malicious, the kind of smiles that could fuel anyone's anger. Serena wasn't anyone, though. « What do you think? I'm picking flowers for your mom, ain't it obvious? » She couldn't help but make a spiteful reference to the dragon's new family and she hated that it still hurt so badly after all this time. The mirror wasn't just broken, Serena had painted it with colourful spray, she had covered all of their similarities with Riverwood's green until London couldn't see her reflection anymore on the fallen pieces. Serena was so different now than the teenager she'd met years ago. She was more confident, for sure, more at ease with her powers, richer as well, maybe braver now than then. She was an artist full of colours and London a black and white memory.

Her smile faded a little and she sneered before she talked again. « What are you doing here, Serena? Changed your mind about the serum, have you? Cool, you'll see, it's a-ma-zing, been living my best life since it came out! » Her smile was back by the end of her teasing, her eyes observing her used-to-be-sister's reactions. Would she burst into anger and yell at her? Would she laugh along? Would she be a joykiller, saying hahaha very funny, in a sarcastic tone? London was genuinely having fun, to be honest. She didn't want to admit it but she had missed this simple familiar banter with Serena. A part of her wanted to keep the jokes for herself because the dragon didn't deserve it anymore, because it was too familiar, too friendly, too risky. Even if it was meant to make her angry, teasing Serena was a little too close to admitting that she still liked her. That deep down, she wanted their friendship back.